Well this has been a roller coaster the past few weeks over the whole transfer to Arizona. Ben and I went to the temple a few weeks ago just for some extra guidance in what we should do. I wasn't thinking about anything really, and had kind of forgotten the whole reason we were there, when a sudden thought popped in my head "Your work here is not finished" I immediately thought of 1.Family History and 2.the Ward-and the help it needs. During this time I was pretty frustrated with the primary president and had kind of given up with the thought that we could be leaving anyway. So after the temple when Ben and I were talking I told him about what I felt. He said he'd never thought about it that way...whether our (or mine since he doesn't do much but work at work) here is done. That we were here for another reason besides his residency. Then we decided to could have just meant that even if we did move I still had a couple months left with Sandra so I couldn't check out quite yet. That made Ben feel better.
Then he went to AZ for an interview and when I talked to him that night I could tell he was a little disappointed in the program...that it wasn't everything he thought it would be. I immediately felt sick in my stomach and said it sounded too risky of a move and that we should just stay. He agreed...for a few days but then went back to work and got frustrated with everything there and started leaning towards AZ again. Things went back and forth like this until this last weekend. He decided it would be a better program to be at and really hoped they would pick him. It was between 2 girl residents and him.
The whole time I was frustrated to not have an answer so I could move forward with some decisions that needed to be made but felt at peace that what happens would be the right thing. We both prayed for that.
Tonight Ben got the call that they had picked the girl with a masters degree and some years of research. My heart just broke in disappointment for him but I felt such relief to be staying. We are familiar with things here. My parents are here. Moonlighting is here. So now hopefully Ben can help them get motivated to be a better program here.
I am just so so so grateful for the guidance we have in our lives. I am grateful for the power of prayer. for the comfort it can give. I am grateful for the Spirit and the promptings it gives. I am grateful for the Temple.
I know Ben will be a great oral surgeon, but most of all he is a great person & husband & father. When we called I could tell he was disappointed but he didn't let it get him down. He talked about the positive things here and that he still had the most important things in life. A family he loves. And that he is blessed to be in a program at all!
I had to write a talk for church about finding happiness now. Not putting it off until some furture thing happened. Not making your happiness dependent on your life going a certain way. Anchor your happiness to eternal things that will truly make you happy. Ben has done that here. This didn't go as he hoped yet he knows it isn't the most important thing in his life.
We love him!
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